


Letter

by saranghandei



Category: Golden Child (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-02
Updated: 2019-04-02
Packaged: 2020-01-01 00:06:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18324704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saranghandei/pseuds/saranghandei
Summary: "You've been together for as long as you can remember, 14, 15 years? so I guess both of you really needed space" Jangjun said while passing the opened can of beer to Jibeom.Now that he looked back, they have been really inseparable since the age of nine when they first met.





	Letter

 

 

"I TOLD YOU I DIDN'T DO IT, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT JIBEOM?!" Jaehyun bellowed angrily at his boyfriend. "I couldn't even go out without letting you know, I couldn't miss any of your calls because it makes you upset, I have to get home earlier than you and now you're accusing me of cheating on you?! What happened to you?!"

"Didn't I say I saw Youngtaek kissing you?! I saw it with my own two eyes JAEHYUN! Right in the fucking front of ME!!" Jibeom retorted, eyes bulging out with anger.

"He didn't!! Urgh, Jibeom! He didn't kiss me, how many times should I tell you that! HE. DIDN'T!!" and with the last word, Jaehyun pushed Jibeom really hard that the latter fell on his butt. He then went to their bedroom slamming the door shut. Jaehyun continued crying on the bed, let out a muffled scream covering his mouth with a pillow.

It has been like 4 months since Jibeom acted like this. Jaehyun thought Jibeom became possessive over time and he tried to live with it. But accusing him of cheating is too much. He loves Jibeom to death and even to look at other guys, he wouldn't dare to do.   
He loves his boyfriend but this is too much. And with Youngtaek? He was their close friend how dare he accused that good friend.

That night, Jibeom slept on the couch. Jaehyun couldn't sleep although his eyes were tired. His feet dragged him to where Jibeom was and silently watched his sleeping lover. He bent down and caressed his boyfriend's face as lightly as possible to avoid waking him up. He teared up and whispered, "What made you like this, love? Why are you hurting me? I want my old Jibeom back..." He stayed there for a good minute before he went back to bed. The comforter covering him was thick, but he felt cold. Jaehyun only wished to return everything back to normal once morning comes.

But that wishful morning didn't come. Jibeom left early for work and returned home very late. Jaehyun was as tired but he tried his best to wait for Jibeom that he dozed off on the couch but his man already arrived and was sleeping on the bed without even telling him. He worried for nothing. And the same event occurred for weeks. Until Jaehyun's fed up. What's the purpose of living on the same roof with Jibeom when all he did was treat him like a stranger. The house used to echo with giggles and bickers became dead silent.

-

It was Sunday afternoon, and he was sitting on the dining area. He stared blankly at the ceiling. He finished packing his things up and was only waiting for Jibeom to come home. The usual Sundays full of cuddles and sometimes heated nights were only a memory now. It pained him so much that he even once decided to harm himself just to see if Jibeom still cares for him. He is broken, drained, tired and sad. He wanted to get away from this suffocating relationship he's in.

**_*flashback_ **

_"Jibeom-ah?" Jaehyun called his boyfriend who's on his book for like an hour already. "Aren't you going to look at me?"_

_Jibeom put down his book and sweetly smiled down at Jaehyun who's laying on his lap. "Why?"_

_"If you're not going to talk to me, I'll move out and find someone who will give me full attention." Jaehyun pouted his lips and looked away. The truth was_ _that Jibeom's stares, those big dark orbs felt like it's eating him up. In a good way._

_Jibeom only scoffed then leaned down to give him a sweet kiss. Jibeom tilted his head to deepen the kiss but Jaehyun pushed him back lightly. "I mean it. If you keep on ignoring me I'll leave you"_

_"As if you'd do that" Jibeom whispered and kissed him again while humming. "You tasted sweet, what did you eat?" Jibeom asked when they pulled back._

_"Strawberry flavored candy?"_

_"I liked it." Jibeom rubbed his nose to Jaehyun's then kissed his forehead. "Ughhhh~~ Let's sleep~~"_

  
The door chimed of Jibeom's arrival. "I'm home," he said.   
Jaehyun's ears perked up because that was the first time for months that Jibeom mouthed those words. Those words that excite him every time. It made him hopeful for a second but shooed it away.

Jibeom found Jaehyun looking at him, sitting on the dining chair. His face was pale, and eyes were droopy. His hair was scruffy but he looked like he's going somewhere. Far.

"Let's end this shit" Jaehyun started.

Jibeom was startled for a bit but he expected it even weeks ago. Hearing it now was like hundred of daggers on his chest. He clenched his fist and sat on the couch.

"A week ago, the company offered me to do training abroad. That'll help me with my promotion." Jaehyun paused for a while. "I... I am letting you go Jibeom. This is what you want right? You should've just told me but why let me suffer?" He couldn't stop the tears flowing freely from his eyes. He wiped it harshly and stood up. "So I am giving you the thing you wanted the most" He went straight to the bedroom to get his stuff. Jibeom was all silent only looking at the dead television. Jaehyun dragged his luggage lifelessly. Before he disappeared on Jibeom's sight, he looked at his man one more time and said, "Live well, my love."

"Where are you going?"

The sudden question shocked Jaehyun. It made him mad actually.

"I haven't agreed yet-"

"Jibeom please stop. I don't wanna argue and leave this place with the last memory is that we fight. Please..."

"Why didn't you leave earlier if you're going to give up later? Why stayed and suffered then?"

"Did you hear what you just said? This is what you want right? For me to go. You treated me like shit so I would go. Right? Am I wrong? Was I wrong? The hell what's wrong with you?"

Jibeom, himself didn't know what he was saying either. Is this what he wanted? Yes. Is this what will make him happy? Heck no! But he has reasons.

"I've made up my mind." Jaehyun stormed out before Jibeom could stop him. He was very determined but when he closed the door behind, he fell on his knees.

Jibeom walked immediately to the door. He was holding the knob so tightly that his knuckles turned white. Using all his force to stop the urge of following Jaeyun. He banged his forehead against the door and there he cried in frustration.

 

**_~2 months later~_ **

 

Jibeom was waiting for Jangjun at the park. He promised to talk about everything that happened between him and Jaehyun. All their friends didn't know that they've broken up in a really bad way but they hinted it would happen very soon. Half of their friends were on Jaehyun's side, while others wanted to give Jibeom a chance to explain. It was cold but meeting in the park would be better so if Jangjun punched him, he won't embarrass himself in the public.

Jangjun arrived 10 minutes later. He patted Jibeom's shoulder and when the latter raised his head, Jangjun was taken aback. Jibeom looked like he didn't bathe for weeks. He didn't shave either. He looked more mature but the handsomeness still there.

"Woahh are you Kim Jibeom?"

Jibeom only chuckled.

"Look at you. It must've been hard, Jibeom-ah..."

The younger shook his head. "Nah. This is nothing compared to what Jaehyun went through for months..." his voice cracked a bit trying to prevent the tears from falling.   
  
Jangjun heaved a sigh. He promised Jibeom to listen to everything and so he did. Jibeom told him all the details.

"You've been together for as long as you can remember, 14, 15 years? so I guess both of you really needed space" Jangjun said while passing the opened can of beer to Jibeom.   
Now that he looked back, they have been really inseparable since the age of nine when they first met.

"But treating him like that and even accusing him of cheating is really out of the line Jibeom. Youngtaek will definitely beat you to a pulp if he knew about this" Jangjun sipped on his beer before he continued "Why did you do that to our Jaehyun? Why do you badly want to get rid of him? Seeing your state right now is apparently telling me that you still love him."

Jibeom stayed silent for a moment. Jangjun's eyes never left Jibeom even for a second and he noticed Jibeom's shoulder shook. He was crying.

 

"Hyung..."

 

"Hyung..."

 

"I-I... I-I am sick..."

 

The words didn't seem to register to Jangjun. It was like a bomb and it made him deaf. "W-what did you say?"

"I am sick. I have a tumor on my brain and I need surgery. My head hurts like hell the reason for my mood swings. I went to the doctor and he said it was very critical. I... I didn't know what to do, I can't let Jaehyun know about this, I have to send him far away, I have to make him unlove me, I can't let him cry when I die-- Hyung you know Jaehyun, he will cryy--" Jibeom started rambling but Jangjun cut him off..

"Shh.. shh... Calm down... Shh... Breathe Jibeom, breathe.."

The news surprised Jangjun and he wanted to know every detail to see if maybe Jibeom was wrong, or misdiagnosis, or maybe Jibeom was exaggerating but the latter was on the verge of collapsing. Suddenly,

"Aacckk- ahh! Jangjun hyung help! My h-head hurtsss!!! Aahhh!!!" He was tugging his hair and his body curled up in pain.  
The next thing Jibeom heard was the sound of the ambulance then he passed out.

-

Everyone was silent when Jangjun returned to Jibeom's ward. Joochan, Donghyun, Bomin, Sungyoon, Daeyeol, and Seungmin was there. All looking like their spirits just left their bodies. Youngtaek was not around because of his job in Japan.

"Hyung..." Bomin started. "What will happen to Jibeom hyung?"

Jangjun sat down. "He needs a craniotomy surgery as soon as possible. But this hospital won't do it because of the lack of facilities. He needs to be transferred but it seemed that Seoul National University Hospital is currently full. We need to wait for a slot or better yet send him abroad for surgery. That way, Jibeom will be saved"

"Jibeom hyung~" Bomin started tearing up as well as the others.

"But he will be saved right? Hundred percent?" Sungyoon had to make sure.

"It's.... It's 50% hyung..."

"Whaaat? That's very low..." said Donghyun.

"And sending him to the US would be very expensive. That'll take time" Joochan expressed his worries.

"This hospital can do some of the treatments for Jibeom to prevent the tumor from growing. Still, we need the surgery ASAP"

"What will happen to Jaehyun?" Joochan asked.

"Nobody will tell Jaehyun about this." Everyone looked at Daeyeol's direction who was quiet since the time they arrived. "We will do everything to save Jibeom and while we're at it, let's make sure Jaehyun knows nothing. He is training very hard for his promotion and Jibeom even hurt Jaehyun just to spare him from this. Let's do what Jibeom wants, you understand?"

"B-but-"

"No buts Sungyoon," Daeyeol said it firmly that even his boyfriend couldn't disagree.

So days passed by quickly and Jibeom stayed in the hospital. His hair was all shaved due to the treatments. He looked thinner in just a span of days. He had an unstable emotional status but everyone was there to support him, except for the love of his life. There's no denying that Jibeom looked weaker every single day. He is eager to get better so there were days where he could go home. He did things that'll make him happy but his friends knew that there's only one person who can genuinely give him happiness. Jibeom kept going in and out of the hospital.

The waiting took them months so Daeyeol had to approach his father whom he didn't talk for years. His old man disagreed on his relationship with Sungyoon, that's why. He talked to him for the first time and asked for help in sending Jibeom to the US or getting him a slot in the hospital. The other boys worked their asses off to pay for Jibeom's treatment and saved the others for the surgery. All their hard work paid off when the Seoul National University Hospital granted Jibeom a slot and will do the surgery as soon as he's transferred.

That time around, Youngtaek had returned to Seoul. He was very clueless and all the bad news hit him like a tsunami.

"Why none of you contacted me?! I should have been there for him and helped him clear the misunderstanding. Jae should've been here"

"No Taek.. This is what Jibeom wanted. To send Jaehyun far away" Seungmin comforted the poor Youngtaek.

"Taek?" Sungyoon called. " Jibeom wants to see you. He wants to talk to you." He gave Youngtaek a small smile then nudged him to enter the ward.

Youngtaek saw a frail Jibeom which was very foreign to him. The younger still smile and even his eyes turned crescent.

"W-what's up man?" the only sentence Youngtaek could muster. He was trembling.

Jibeom chuckled. "Good. With this bonnet covering my bald head, I am still a hundred % sure that I look more handsome than you"

Youngtaek shook his head and laugh. "Yeah, you do."

The atmosphere turned a little serious when the laughter died down.

"The surgery's tomorrow. You gotta come out alive, man" Taek managed to smile and sat on Jibeom's bed. "You have to come out there alive."

"Yeah, sure. But...."

"Aish! No buts-"

"No... Taek, Listen to me... If ever, just... if ever I couldn't make it. Do give this to Jaehyun." He handed Youngtaek a small blue box.

"Ughh I hate this man. What is this? You hand them yourself... You're coming out that surgery alive-"

"P-please.. Hand that to him after a month or moths, after my wake, and ..." A tear rolled down his eyes so he bit his lower lip to continue "And take care of my baby. You know, he will probably cry and miss me a lot so he won't eat, but make sure to feed him. Make sure he doesn't get hurt and be there for him. He will love you for sure in the future when the time comes that he'll forget about me." Jibeom sniffed "Jaehyun loves his back patted till he falls asleep, he eats only cereal on breakfasts and loves lazing around on Sunday mornings. He loves strawberry flavored candies so store a jar for him" His heart ached so much that he stopped and clutched his chest.

"H-hey! Jibeom are you alright? Heyy.."

Jibeom didn't answer so Youngtaek had to give his words. "I... I will do exactly what you say. I, we, will take care of him, 'kay?" Then he helped Jibeom lay down on his bed. The latter covered his eyes with his arms, trying to relaxed himself. Youngtaek didn't leave until the younger fell asleep. He couldn't help but weep as well.

That night, Youngtaek couldn't fall asleep. He hated how this happened to their lives. He worked his ass off in Japan and was excited to return home but was welcomed with sad news instead. He got up and turned the lamp on. He opened the blue box and found a scented plastic rose, a ring, and a letter. He took it out. "I'm sorry Jibeom" he mouthed and opened the letter that was meant for Jaehyun. He didn't bother reading it, instead, he positioned his phone in front of the letter and took shots of it. Quickly looked for Jaehyun's Kakao ID and sent it to him.

 

  
_*Katalk Katalk*_

Jaehyun just got home from the gym. It was his day off and decided to exercise.   
When he entered his flat, he was welcomed by a cute bichon jumping up and down.

"Hey there Bongji~ hungry?" He strode to the kitchen and fed the hungry puppy. Bongji was very adorable that he couldn't stop himself from smiling. This baby saved him from his misery.

"Ah! Message!" He finally remembered so he leaned on the counter to check it.

"Oh Youngtaekie? Did he return to Seoul?" He talked to himself. He excitedly tapped his phone and noticed two pictures were sent to him. When he clicked it open, his hand quivered. He knew who's penmanship it was. The exact penmanship he read on the letters he received every Valentine's Day.

  
**_Dear Jaehyun,_ **

**_How are you? Are you doing well? It has been a year right? I hope you are coping well. I guess you speak English very fluently now. Do you remember how it was my favorite, your accent? It's like music to my ears. I even recorded you speaking in English and still have it on my phone. I still listen to it._ **

**_Jaehyun-ah, I am sorry for all the tears you shed and the sleepless nights I gave you. I am really sorry if I shouted at my baby when you deserve only the sweet words coming from a sweet voice. I broke your heart and your whole being. I am truly sorry, my baby. I am not sure if I can still call you that._ **

**_By the time you read this letter, I might not be around anymore. Please don't look for me, please forget about me. Remember the time I asked what will you do if I leave you first, you told me you will not look for me and erase me from your memory. So, please do so. Erase my entirety._ **

**_In the box, there's the rose you gave way back our 1st Valentine as a couple and the promise ring. I am giving it back to you hoping you'll give it to someone who will be there for you till the end. Hold that person's hand as I held yours every single night. Know that my love for you is still as strong as ever and never I got mad at you. You did nothing wrong, it was all me. I'm sorry for leaving you to someone else's care because I'm too weak and I'm a coward. We met but never fated. But I will bring this sad memory with me so don't ever look back._ **

**_I love you with all my heart and every part of my body belongs to you. But I guess it belonged to the ground now. This will be all and as you finished reading the letter is when my love for you will end._ **

**_Be happy my baby :)_ **

**_P.S. I will ask God to write my name as your husband in your book of life in the next life._ **

**_Love,_ **   
**_Kim Jibeom_ **

 

  
Jaehyun shuddered and lost his balance. He dropped his phone and with shaky hands, he picked it up. "W-w-what did I just read? N-noooo..." He hastily dialed Youngtaek's number.

"Pick it up please pick it up.... Youngtaek-ah please pick it up!!"

But to no avail, he dialed another number and this time it's Jangjun's.

_**Ringing_

"Hyung please... Please..."

He couldn't wait any longer. He ran to his bedroom and called someone.

"Yes, a ticket to Seoul please"

Dialed another digit...

"I am very sorry Team Manager Na but this is very urgent. I need to get back to Seoul as soon as possible..." "I don't care about the promotion anymore, I'm really sorry"

He went to his closet, pack a few things and prepared Bongji's travel documents. He moved so fast that it didn't take him an hour to get to the airport. He had his luggage and Bongji with him. He dialed Youngtaek's number once again hoping to get through this time. He was already crying while holding his phone.

"P-please pick up the phone..."

 

"Excuse me? Are you Mr. Bong Jaehyun?"

  
-

 

Jibeom was with his parents the whole day. They spent a lot already and Jibeom worried about it. They are not that wealthy and his dad used their farmland as a mortgage for a bank loan. As parents, they don't need the money and possessions in the world. They needed their son to be alive and healthy.

Joochan, Donghyun, and Bomin were there to entertain him with songs and dances. Daeyeol and Sungyoon took turns in the hospitals so they went home for a while to rest. Jibeom was nervous but he was ready for the two possible outcomes.

"Are you alright?" Joochan squeezed his hand.

"Yeah. I'm okay. Are you?"

"Of course I am! I am confident that you will be back safe." he smiled at Jibeom. A smile he made sure Jibeom will remember. 

"Don't die on us Jibeom." Jangjun interrupted. "I will buy your favorite car once you recovered"

"Ohhh~ money swag~~" Jibeom joked to lighten up the mood. 

Everyone in the room had a good laugh though their hearts were racing and beating in fear as they wait for Jibeom's scheduled surgery at 1 PM.

Jibeom kept on looking at the door as if he's expecting someone.

"Are you looking for someone son?" His mom asked.

"It's funny. It's funny how I sent Jaehyun away but all I want is to see his face once more."

And with those words, all of them teared up.

"Jibeom hyuuung~ survive the surgery and let's g-go to J-jaehyun hyung together" Bomin stuttered.

He really might not be able to see his love for the last time.

 

-

 

**_1 Month later~_ **

  
Jaehyun was wearing all white with a handkerchief on his left hand. He's sniffing but trying to compose himself and read the letter.

_"Dear Jaehyun..."_ he started.

_"How are you? Are you doing well? It has been a year right? I hope you are coping well. I guess you speak English very fluently now. Do you remember how it was my favorite, your accent? It's like music to my ears. I even recorded you speaking in English and still have it on my phone. J-Jaehyun-ah, I am sorry for all the tears you shed and the sleepless nights I gave you. I am really sorry if I shouted at my baby when you deserve only the sweet words coming from a sweet voice. I broke your heart and your whole being. I am truly sorry, my baby. I am not sure if I can still call you that."_

Jaehyun scoffed but continued reading,

_"_ _By the time you read this letter, I might not be around anymore. Please don't look for me, please forget about me. Remember the time I asked what will you do if I leave you first, you told me you will not look for me and erase me from your memory. So, please do so. Erase my entirety."_

Jaehyun couldn't help but wiped his tear with the handkerchief. He cleared his throat and breathe.

_"In the box, there's the rose you gave way back our 1st Valentine as a couple and the promise ring. I am giving it back to you hoping you'll give it to someone who will be there for you till the end. Hold that person's hand as I held yours every single night. Know that my love for you is still as strong as ever and never I got mad at you. You did nothing wrong, it was all me. I'm sorry for leaving you to someone else's care because I'm too weak and I'm a coward. We met but never fated. But I will bring this sad memory with me so don't ever look back. I love you with all my heart and every part of my body belongs to you. But I guess it belonged to the ground now. This will be all and as you finished reading the letter is when my love for you will end. Be happy my baby. P.S. I will ask God to write my name as your husband on your book of life in the next life.  Love, Kim Jibeom"_

 

After he finished the last word, he crumpled the paper and throw it. "Bullshit Jibeom" he whispered and continued wiping his eyes.

 

  
"Really? Was it that bullshit?"

"YES! IT REALLY WAS PURE BULLSHIT!" Jaehyun glared at the man smiling stupidly at him.

"Stop that you look uglier!" He scowled.

The man rubbed Jaehyun's back. That never failed to calm him down. He took the man's hand and gripped at it tightly.

"Don't ever think of letting this hand go or I'll kill myself. You got that?"

"No one's dying first. We'll die together. I'm sorry and I love you."

Jaehyun couldn't be happier because that man was his man. Alive and breathing. He survived the surgery and is already recovering. Jaehyun was definitely in a rollercoaster ride _that day_. He went back to Seoul and went straight to the hospital. His heart dropped when he heard that Jibeom had an attack during the surgery. He prayed so hard and mumbled Jibeom's name until the surgeons came out and announced the good news.

He couldn't imagine his life if Jibeom really left him. So he stared at his man lovingly. He looked handsome with his short newly grown hair and a bandage wrapped around his forehead.

"I love so much Kim Jibeom."

Jibeom pulled him into a hug and whispered sweet nothings which made him giggled. Jibeom brushed away Jaehyun's fringe before kissing him hungrily which he responded passionately. 

"I... love you... a million... times," Jibeom said between kisses. 

**Author's Note:**

> It felt weird crying at your own story. Haha~


End file.
